It really hurts. I replied, What the fuck is wrong with you? an hour later, he arrived 15 minutes before our daughter did. Remember, youre not to be blamed for their habit. This post and the responses make me want to bash my head against a wall. Holy fuuk. He drinks every night. my hubby went on smoke breaks during each contactions I had. I agree not to do it when he's about to grab a drink because then he will just get irritated with you. at around 11 pm when i started to vomit and asked if we should probably get to the hospital he said are you sure this time? NOW I have to remind him, when he rolls his eyes knowingly seeing movies where women scream in pain during labor, that it really IS realistic too, even if it was not what he observed! The men or the women that married men like the ones referenced in the comments? Im not sure where to start with my story and it has been 20 years and fresh in my mind. And that I hadnt eaten dinner and was starving. to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. My doctor walked in while he was talking, looked at me still laying on the delivery bed, and told my husband he should probably take care of that later. Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. Put together a back-up plan now because none of this is acceptable (not his drinking, buzzed driving or your calling his parents to essentially tattle on him). Were going to pop some bottles the celebrate the twins arrival. I had to be induced. I explained that his drinking like this gives me anxiety and I want our little baby brought into a happy, stress free world. And please feel free to add your husbands own egregious efforts below. I get all the credit for being an awesome stepdad and none of the crap over what got screwed up during labor. Did you have a birth plan? Dear Amy: I am 63 and my husband (of six years) is 67. Get Mommy Shorts updates sent directly to your inbox! Needless to say, when, four weeks later he was resting a pack of frozen peas on his testicles from the vasectomy hed breezily put his hand up for, my sympathy levels were small to non-existent. It wasn't until my midwife stripped the membranes at 41 weeks that I finally went into labor." 2.) Ask the medical staff questions. It may be harsh but is needed. I ended up having a C-section and he decided it would be best if he waited in the recovery room instead of coming into the E.R. (Nurses are usually fabulous but it is always nice to have your own personal support person). With my second I was in labor through the night, his dad kept asking if he could go home to sleep because I didnt need him there, he missed his bed and the hospital staff was disrupting his sleep. I was in labor half the night and at around 7 am I say to my hubby its time to go to the hospital. That he won't stop for a few weeks while you approach the end of your pregnancy (or forever) is even MORE indicative of that dependency and addiction. The day after our daughter was born my husband told me about this whole situation and directly quoted said I mean I had to pump for 2 minutes straight. At 6am. When in labor, every woman becomes bitchy for the reason that she is in tremendous pain, moron! ).Seems this would not be good even after the baby is born. It was our first child. Labor was a piece of cake until they broke my bag of waters. He did later apologize. Also, per Davidson, never, ever wear open-toed shoes to the hospital. Money was scarce. Only when you will make them realize that it is a problem and it puts you in an awkward position afterward. I am sure you are aware there are going to be a lot of long nights that you are not going to want your DH sleeping off his buzz. I made breakfast. -Katie. Try to apeal to the protector in him and let him know how much you need him there. My husband was awesome! My MIL came by after her work at 3pm to bring me food, saw the mess of family and refused to leave till I was tucked into a room with the baby across the building from the birth family. Away." In hindsight, I love having pictures from the delivery room. During one particularly painful contraction, I beat my fist against the passenger door. for fear that he would pass out. Well, it was getting late, and his sister called to see how things were going, and he smiled affectionately at me and told her that the contractions werent too bad yet. The birth of our child is not about him, it's about me and the baby. I COULDNT actually talk. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. If that doesn't work,I have two thoughts. My husband was incensed and, since he was standing next to my head, diagonal from the doctor, he leaned across me and said, gritted teeth, you will get my son out of my wife without hurting him or her any further or we will OWN THIS HOSPITAL, you fucking stupid bitch. I was so out of it by this point (having no pain medication at all) that I did not know my husband had helped. -Amber, My husband made me wait for him to finish watching Gladiator after my water broke. Oh yeah, and he lost like 15lbs over the course of 2 months without drinking. Well, theyre in denial because they believe theyre not creating any problems due to overdrinking. Misty, My husband left me, when I was in labor, to go buy a PS3 (it was Black Friday). Guys like you make it possible for guys like me to find great women and kids. -RealMomofNJ, Mine kicked me out of the car in the ambulance bay 9cm dilated with my bag and left me to traipse across the hospital and up two flights of stairs on my own because he didnt want to pay for hospital parking. All. Since our house is on the way to the hospital, we stopped to get our bags. of theirs under any circumstances. As if I wasnt even there, In front of them. Yes, by all means continue defending your drunk husband because he's dumb and he has to drink because of his job. Once emergency responders had arrived and . (But I still decided to stay 2 more hours at home because the nurse said to wait it out when I called them. Many people who struggle with alcoholism are reluctant to accept treatment on their own. Your husband has to submit to you during your childbirth becauae you are the patient and you will be exposed. And in the US, up to thirty-eight million people have an alcohol addiction at some point in their lives. In the UK, between 3% and 5% of the population suffers from a drinking problem at any one time. examples of crazy crap your husbands pulled while you were in labor. Hours in labor: Never went into labor! Individuals with alcoholism may have a number of behavioral and emotional characteristics, including a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. I think your husband should be able to handle 3-5 weeks of not drinking in exchange for a healthy baby and wife. Or a little bit of both? You will have to work together, as a team if you want to come out of the situation. According to the World Health Organisation, around 2% of adults globally have a drinking problem thats over one billion people! Which is normally fine, but NOT when your in labor! I couldnt reach my call light, or my chapstick to throw at him, and he wasnt responding to me whisper shouting at him. this was his fourth child. Hoping to cure the problem. So I drove the 40 minutes to the hospital solo. my parents always had a rule never to argue in front of me or my younger brother.. We went anyway, and I was 5 cm dilated with double back labor. When he came home and realized I was gone, he assumed I was just shopping or visiting family. These are all hilarious and I feel lucky that I do not have a funny story to write. Have you ever discussed this with friends and inquired about how much their husbands drink? 5. Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! Hes only a casual race fan, btw. Water Breaking Is a (Damn Obvious) Sign of Labor. I had to go to the hospital for a D&C with my first pregnancy as the baby stopped growing and there was no heartbeat, but I didnt miscarriage automatically. Also, he decided at some point that the contraction monitor was a better gauge of my pain than I was: Oh, that one wasnt so bad. I nearly ripped his head off. How to Induce Labor the Right Way. I feel your pain! -Angelia, My husband went downstairs to charge his phone and call his mom from the car. Maintaining a positive mindset and a hopeful attitude can be difficult at times when you are dealing with an addiction problem. Here is a picture of him, having a little lie down with Jack about 20 minutes after he was born. You should also try to increase your intake of healthy food and exercise regularly, as this will help you stay healthy both physically and mentally. Must have been all that digesting he was doing :S. Im currently being induced in 9 days, my husband actually says hes going to stay home for the fucking dog! The doc said that was waaaaay too much and really unhealthy. She gives me her phone number . I know what it feels like! But hey, at least the rage is not being maintained. -Kate, Right after my c-section, my husband asked the nurse in the recovery room if he could just lay down on the floor, saying I promise I wont be in the way. Woodward said the labor was moving fast and about 15 minutes later, the baby had arrived, even before paramedics had arrived on the scene. DH managed to get to the hospital after his work in time to give me a quick kiss and be kicked out for delivery. Thanks. A 'habit' of drinking more than 5 drinks in a night, thinking that he 'deserves' to unwind however he wants, these are signs that he dependent on alcohol. I was in labor (induced) for 48 hours while my husband was uncomfortable in his chair and feeling nauseous from a sandwich he ate. First is, do you have a backup person who can be there for you? But he was back at the hospital within the hour and he slept on that rediculously tiny hospital couch all night. You may come across situations where things go beyond your control, and you might end up in an embarrassing situation. He hasn't had one drink since that night because he knows I'm serious. So here I am in the passenger seat, in labor, trying (graciously, mind you) to keep my moaning down so he can make this call. We went to a friends wedding about 3 weeks ago and I asked him before hand not to drink and he did anyways and got pretty drunk. Look at some of the comments and then talk about stupid. I know you don't want to hear this, but you really need to read up on alcoholism. 45 minutes later, we left the house in a crazy snowstorm. Ive got girlfriends who pretty much just lay it all on the table. if you need help handling your marriage with a spouse trying to overcome addiction. -Anne, When the nurses asked how bad the pain was from 1-10 and I said 10, my husband said oh, come on it cant be that bad. . (I don't think he would like that job much!). Our son was born in the morning. When the guy on the other end asks so, how are you doing? because he probably heard my whimpering/low moaning in the background, my husband replies well my wife is actually in labor and were on the way to the hospital I think the guy on the phone call was speechless at first, and then smartly ended the conversation so my husband couldI dont know focus on driving through the blizzard and getting his wife to the hospital!?! He's turning 30 - his birthday isn't some magical day where responsibilities don't apply to him I'm currently TTC and my husband already knows that he isn't getting drunk during my entire final month (36 weeks on) unless there is a plan for someone else to drive me. -Tifffany, My husband took so many pictures of himself in the scrubs and mask (obviously super important to document) the camera battery was almost dead when we actually had the baby! I would be wasted if I had 5 drinks. I tell everyone this story and will never let my husband forget it! My husband took nearly two hours to have lunch with his mom at the hospital, after he had been helping me through contractions all morning. In the absence of a specific policy that the employee has agreed to abide by . Its not a movie wherein things change quickly. I had read a list of what to pack on a baby website. He then goes home and sleeps on and off for 10 hours (in between bouts of explosive diahrrea) while Im at the hospital with our first newborn daughter, ALONE. With my first child, my husband slept the entire time from time time i started having contractions to the time when i started to push. Bud Grace And Frankie Weight Gain . I would be concerned about YH having 5 drinks in one night on a regular basis. In addition, you should also come up with a list of goals that you want to achieve as a couple once you are done with treatment so that you can lead a more productive and happy life together. My guess is that most husbands sort of enjoy seeing their wives suffering a little bit, especially if it was the wife nagging to have the child. When they were out (it was 2am after all), HE WAITED FOR THEM TO BREW A FRESH POT. Thank goodness he was great the rest of the time or Id be a widow, not a divorcee. If it were me, I would tell him in no uncertain terms that if he wants to be there that he has to be 100% sober. Look up the options available to you, enlisting help if you need backup, and have a hopeful, serious plan ready so there's no excuse for him to say no. When he stopped drinking for a month, we conceived right away. They were 1 minute apart, which was not what the books and classes told us we should be at this early on. I asked for all the ridiculous stuff your husbands pulled while you were in labor. Last week, I made a simple request on the Mommy Shorts fanpage. (I am not worried about a ride though because we have a ton of family and friends that could take me in a pinch.). Would you trust him to drive? Laughing gas has been widely available for laboring women in other countries, and it's finally making its way to hospitals and . It sounds like you and your H are both in denial (as apparently are a few other posters on this thread). AND, it is your child too, not just his. I will never know. After a long labor and birthing a 10 lb baby naturally, my husband, told me that the room smelled like a deer was gutted in it. He asked me to please give him a signal before I had a contraction (and they were, oh, 90 seconds apart) so he could mute the call in time. Its a serious problem that can lead to social and physical problems. We finally make it to the hospital and Im left alone for quite a while and I find out why when he strolls into the room with his lunch of a turkey sandwich, clam chowder soup and soda and he says, dont worry honey, I didnt forget about you, here are your ice chips. He then proceeds to interview and film every nurse that enters the room and when it is time to film the labor, we were out of film, wonder why. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a cup of coffee from the bodega across the street. My nurse thought he had the flu. We called to tell him to come immediately. Jack Morley, the giant baby, was born just after 8am. The tendency to hide their problems is also a common characteristic among alcoholics. When you sent the call out, you said husbands, and I totally forgot what my dad did the night I was born. Finally he gets into town, horses and all in the hospital parking lot, smelling like a branding! After 30 hours of labor, it was time to go to the hospital and my husband informs me that he needs to run across the street to get his hair cut and I have the number if I need him. Listen to Token and others who have pointed out that there is a problem beyond driving to L&D. You are not going to want to have this conversation, but you have to. To his credit, he sprung out of bed, I rang my best friend and she came to look after Maddie and Sam. I thought that was all obvious to DH but apparently I was wrong. Yeah right. (Dont even ask about our planning ability! When I was younger and unmarried, I had a boyfriend who was often kind of rude to me in social situations. Kept busy being a working mother of 3 children, one with Aspergers, renovating the original money pit and drinking too many coffees in the space of 24 hours. Boo freaking hoo! My first child was early and I had a long hard 19 hour labor. What on earth makes you think anyone wants your man? It's your body's way of protecting your baby . With our second things went pretty well. Wow, after reading all of this, I swear my DH is a god among men! However, if you are determined to recover from it and stay sober, you can do it as long as you stay strong and focused. Around 4:30 Sunday morning, I start pushing. My husband devours some of the Popeyes chicken and then comes back in and sits with me and then falls asleep. Hiding bottles or drinking secretly so that family will not know what . After 26 hours of Oxytocin induced labour our son arrived and my hubby had the balls to say jokingly Well, at least we know hes hers! There was never any doubt about paternity, it was just his stupid sense of humour. No seriously, it was my due date. Mine said I was making a spectacle of myself while in an induced labor with back to back contractions. Once labor begins, it can take between 10 to 24 hours (or more) to progress through the three stages of labor before your baby is born. So, the advice here is to keep away from the situation and let things happen. A few hours post-surgery I started having a strong adverse reaction to the epidural which included profuse sweating, intense itching and hallucinations. Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. I was sleeping when suddenly cramped stood up and my water broke. Home Depot arrived to install our oven shortly after my water broke we made it to the hospital 5 hours later, had a beautiful 17 hours of labor and he left cause he couldnt get any rest. I would definitely tell him if he's buzzed he is not welcome in the delivery room because it will only cause you more distress while you're trying to bring your first child into this world. I had to wait nearly an hour for my epidural and was 8cm when I got it. This is why it is important for you to encourage him to seek professional help for alcohol addiction treatment if he seems hesitant to do so. This is not going to change after the baby is born, he has made that clear. Who knows..just having a baby may wake him up and realize that there are more important things to stay sober for. Her husband waited nearby but outside the birthing room. Thats why I wish my daughter grows up to be gay. Those who knew Angela Dickinson said she could charm any man. Second, I would have an honest conversation about the role you want him to play in labor and delivery. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Allison Leonard/Ilona McCarty. You may be in active labor if your contractions happen at least every 5 minutes, last for 1 minute each, and have been .

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